May We Be the People of YHWH

Content warning: This post may not be appropriate for all readers. Themes/topics addressed: sexual assault/abuse, child abuse, gender identity.

This post is markedly different from what you've seen earlier here. It's one that's been bouncing around in my head and heart for several months, and I feel like it's finally time to put it out there. Its primarily focused for fellow Christians, but hopefully all of you will find something useful in it. And remember, one finger pointed at you means three back at myself. Thanks for coming along with me on this journey.

In Ephesians, Paul says, “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against the evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” (NLT)

So why, when I hear Christians using militaristic language like “fighting for the Lord”, “going into battle”, or maybe “the enemy is strong”, do I find myself cringing? Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. We are clearly in a battle with evil in this world and are called to stand strong and push it back to the hell from where it comes. So why do I cringe?

I cringe because too often we let that focus roll onto the victims of that evil rather than the source of it. We can’t physically see those evil spirits, evil rulers, and mighty powers, but we can see how “evil” people behave. So based on their behavior we attack people that appear to us to be “evil.” The same people who scripture says are created in the image of the God we claim to serve. The same people that Jesus said needed Him the most. The same people that Jesus died for.

Without a doubt there are people who have consciously and willingly given themselves over to serve the forces of darkness.  But those are pretty few and far between. And they’re not who I want to address here. I’ll leave it to far more qualified spiritual leaders among us to deal with them.

Too often we look at behaviors that people exhibit, determine that they are unacceptable to us (and, of course, that means it’s also unacceptable to God, right?), and condemn the person without even trying to understand their heart, their trauma, their motivation, the wiring of their brain, or their pain.

Case in point:

We see a teen-age girl that is sexually promiscuous--the one who promised the entire football team a “good time” if they won the homecoming game and delivered when they won. Too often we just label her the school slut, do not let our children anywhere near her (and especially don’t want her anywhere near our youth group!), and ask where on earth her parents are.

What we do not see is the father that’s been going to her bedroom to force himself on her since she was 8 years old, and her mother knew it was happening but did nothing about it because this way he didn’t bother her (and she had her own history of trauma to work through). And he never did it on Sunday because that was the Lord’s Day. And he always said he only did it because he loved her. And….

Hypersexuality is one of the most common behaviors of teen-age girls that have been sexually abused. Too often, we simply express disdain for the behavior rather than recognizing it as a sign of abuse.

When she moves out as fast as she can and won’t speak to her parents, we call her a rebellious child that just needs to honor her parents and come under their authority.      

Go ahead, try to talk to her about how God is her heavenly father, and if she’ll only accept Jesus, you’ll let her come to youth group. I dare you. You better hope she’s not holding a sharp object.

An epidemic of this abuse plagues America today, and as much as we’d like to think otherwise, all too often it is happening in the church. A very few (by the grace of God, remarkable courage and determination, almost unbelievable resilience, and a lot of therapy) somehow manage to work through this trauma and come out the other side healthy, functional human beings. Far more often, their lives end in awful ways.

So how do we respond to this “evil” girl?

In Exodus when God reveals his name, YHWH, he explains that His two primary characteristics are compassion and grace. Can we be the people of YHWH to these women? Or do they have to “clean up their act” before we are willing to love them? Jesus’ life makes pretty clear what God’s position is. The only people we see Jesus condemn as evil at heart were the religious leaders of the day. Matthew 12 is a litany of their vileness.

As far as her father goes, we can also be sure she is not his only victim. My human perspective is that castration and a total penectomy is a far too lenient response to someone who would do this to their daughter. But then I see the behavior, not the heart. Hurt people hurt people. How far back does the chain of abuse go? I do know we need to make sure he can never do it again. Ever. To anyone.

God have mercy on us all.

I would be remiss if I didn’t also talk about the boys receiving her “favors”. We too often give them a pass. We are so quick to condemn the girl, but they’re just “doing what boys do.” We’ll revisit that later.

Another example that seems to get a lot of traffic today:

We see a “man” struggling with his sexual identity. We look at his genitals and say, “He just needs to quit being a wimp and man up!” or “How sinful of him to think he can change how God made him!”

What we don’t see is how the electrical wiring in “his” brain is SCREAMING at him 24 hours a day that “he” is a woman. That too is “how God made ‘him’.” We don’t see the confusion that brings. We don’t see the eternal questioning in the mind that becomes the depression that starts making suicide look like a pretty good escape. We don’t see the relief when someone, anyone recognizes the battle and tells her she’s not a freak. Why can’t that be the church? Can we, please, quit being so offended by people having preferred pronouns that might not make sense to us that we can be Jesus to hurting people? Can we be the people of YHWH?

We see genitalia. Why can’t “he” just accept that? The challenge is that gender and sexual identity are several orders of magnitude more complicated than simple genitalia. The process by which our sexual organs and identity are formed in the womb is fragile and complex. We should rather be amazed that it comes out consistent as often as it does.

In addition to those whose brain and anatomy don’t match, one in 1500 babies that are born each year in this country have some combination of organs of both sexes. While that’s a tiny percentage, it adds up. That’s about one every three hours. In round numbers 2500 each year. 30,000 kids at any given time in grade 1-12 who have dealt or are dealing with this.

But we hate complex issues that require complex discussions and nuanced responses. Surely, we can reduce it to a meme or political slogan, can’t we?

It’s a fallen world; sometimes the body has inconsistencies. If a child is born with a cleft palate or a hole in their heart, we show great concern and do everything we can to fix it. When a person’s brain is at war with the rest of their body, can we at least, please, be the people of YHWH?

 And the list of “evil” people goes on… The vast majority of our list of “evil” people are victims of a fallen world or of active evil that wants to see them destroyed. I have my list; who’s on yours?

Fortunately, God doesn’t have a list. He is YHWH, eternal God of compassion and grace.

And God looks at the heart rather than the behavior. He does say that out of the content of the heart, the mouth speaks. It’s just that often it’s a foreign language to us that we don’t understand so to us the external behavior would shout that their “evil” is overwhelming and obvious. We need a translator because He seems to see things quite differently than we do.

Take the story of the woman caught in adultery. After all her accusers had walked away, Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you.” He didn’t, as He often did, say her sins were forgiven. He said He didn’t condemn her. He clearly saw beyond the behavior and saw her pain, trauma, and overwhelming loneliness. He also said, “Go and sin no more.” I’ve always been taught that those words were a command to change her behavior. But if that’s the case, the “neither do I condemn you” part has to be seen differently as well. It has to read more like “OK, I’ll give you a pass on this one” followed by the command “but you better not do it again.”

But what if in those words coming from Jesus was healing for her mind, spirit, and soul rather than an order to change her behavior? He works from the inside out, not the outside in. He not only healed bodies, but hearts and minds as well. He brings transformation, healing the heart and renewing the mind, not just behavior modification. He not only didn’t condemn her, he gave her the healing she needed to live her life in a new, healthier way.

Again, where is the man in this scene? Once again, he was given a pass, and, again, we’ll revisit that in another post.

This distinction between what’s actually in the heart and how it can drive seemingly unrelated outward behavior is well illustrated in the story of Sodom. This one, however, gives us a different look at what an evil heart often looks like

We all know the story. We identify them with rampant sexual debauchery to the point of their wanting Lot to send out his two guests so they could gang rape them. (Never mind that Lot offered them his two daughters instead, yet God called him a “good man.” That’s another topic for another day) There was not even so much as consent in this scenario; it would have been out and out rape, which is about power and control far more than sex.

But Ezekiel tells a different story. Ezekiel 16:49 (NLT) says, “Sodom’s sins were pride, gluttony, and laziness, while the poor and needy suffered outside her door.” That is the heart that drove their behavior. But I really don’t like that because that heart looks too much like my heart. It’s so much easier to call out the “evil” behavior.

You mean my heart is as evil as the people of Sodom? Yup, mine too. We just probably outwardly exhibit it differently.

It is “evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places” with whom we’re at war. Not hurting, traumatized, abused people

 If they are not the enemy, can we try to not make them casualties in the war? Even in a fallen world we recognize targeting civilians is a war crime.

May we be the people of YHWH.