The Paradox of the Paradox

 

I don’t know about you, but I like clarity. I like things (and people) that are straightforward, good or bad, true or false, right or wrong, easy to understand, and consistent.

I’ll work pretty hard to achieve that clarity. I want to know when I’m right, true, and good, and if I’m wrong, false, or bad, I really want to know that. (Of course, my wife would say I’m often wrong, but never in doubt. 😊)

Life is so much simpler when we have clarity. Clarity of purpose, clarity of which side to choose politically, clarity of whom we believe and whom we don’t. Clarity of action I’m to take on any given issue. Clarity on how I’m to relate to the world.

The challenge with that, of course, is that life isn’t that simple. That clarity gets obscured with great frequency. Sometimes it’s because we live in an imperfect world where even our heroes have their faults. A world where our enemies have their good points. And a world where we let ourselves down far more often than we’d like. All of that can cloud our vision and make our previous clarity as fuzzy as the black and white TV I grew up watching.

But there’s another thing that can frustrate our need for clarity.

Sometimes seemingly contradictory things can both be true. Illogical and even seemingly impossibly incompatible things are both true.

Behold, the paradox!

Some are just humorous, like jumbo shrimp, military intelligence, and honest politician. Those we just label as oxymorons and have a good laugh.

Some are so far beyond my comprehension that I don’t even try. Higher math can present some of these (here’s one example, that will make your brain hurt, discussing what’s known as “Russell’s Paradox” https://youtu.be/ymGt7I4Yn3k ), and quantum physics, not to be outdone by the mathematicians, brings you Shrodinger’s Cat for your consideration.

Others are simply self-refuting statements, i.e., statements that disprove themselves, like the statement “There is no such thing as objective truth.”

Others are just logical impossibilities like “This statement is false.”

Much closer to home, however, we find paradoxes (and how we process them) that impact our lives on a daily basis.

Pursuing happiness will never bring happiness is one of those. Happiness is a byproduct that, when set as a goal, becomes unattainable. We often find happiness when we least expect it, and it usually involves sacrifice and hard work.

Less is more is another paradox with which we can struggle.

My need for control and the unpredictability of life confronts me every day.

The paradox of the more I try to persuade someone the less likely I’ll succeed is one that’s particularly hard for me. The only mind (or heart) I can change is my own. The best I can do to help another change is to set a good example, show genuine respect for them, ask honest questions, and help them consider another perspective.

The paradox of the more I learn the more I realize how little I know serves as a good warning for me. If we think we’ve got something/someone all figured out, we’re probably just showing our ignorance.

If you’re a follower of Jesus, you’ll recognize the multiple paradoxes He presents:

   1.)  The humble will inherit the earth.

        2.)  The last will be first.

        3.)  We gain life by giving up our life.

        4.)  Love your enemies

And, of course, the big ones:

        1.)  God is completely loving and at the same time completely just.

        2.)  I’m an insignificant speck of dust in the cosmos hardly worthy of consideration by anyone and yet at the same time I’m created in the image of God Himself and of, quite literally, infinite value to Him.

The very nature of a paradox makes it something not to be resolved, but to be understood (at least partially) and used productively.

Maybe pursuing a life of significance will make me happier than an endless search for a new high.

Maybe I need to give more of my money and time to others to be happier.

Maybe I don’t need to engage with every Facebook post that irritates me.

Perhaps one of the best things a good paradox can do for me is make me realize that life isn’t simple.

Relationships are messy.

Complex issues can’t be reduced to a meme or a political sound bite.

People most often do the best they can with what they have.

It can make us ask questions rather than spout answers.

A paradox can also force us to admit our limitations and recognize we may never (on this earth at least) understand some things.

Surprisingly, perhaps, when we take that perspective, we do better. A fair amount of research has shown that POWs that didn’t expect to be rescued anytime soon fared far better in almost every way than those that were overly optimistic about that rescue.

False hope for clarity and simplicity with the disappointment that inevitably follows is far harder on us than a realistic understanding of our limitations. It’s always better to know the reality than live in a fantasy.

Complete clarity is seldom, if ever, achievable. Learning to live in the land of the paradox is essential to our surviving and thriving.

If for no other reason, we should befriend our paradoxes simply because that will make life better for us. And if that makes us a little easier to live with, a little more understanding of the challenges of others, and a little more forgiving of both ourselves and others, that’s not such a bad thing, is it?